The Conversion Bureau: The Stand
by Zachosis
Summary: A human sniper tells his story of the last battle that humanity would ever fight, trying desperately to defend themselves against a force that outnumbered them ten to one. Written in "The Conversion Bureau" universe... sort of.


_So, this story has been floating around in my doc manager for the longest time (a few months?). Now I finally decided to finish and publish it. It's just a little old one-shot that I was inspired to write from a certain movie that I watched (can you guess it?), plus all of the Conversion Bureau fanfics out there that share the same general theme as this one. _

oooooooooooo

"Everybody wake the fuck up! No time for breakfast! Get your guns and get to the outer perimeter!"

I woke up to some guy practically shouting my eardrums into oblivion. Well, I was never asleep in the first place. It was hard to sleep when the only thing keeping you from being spotted was a roof and a camouflage tarp. I grabbed my rifle, freshly painted with several shades of green spray paint, and pulled my gear from under my cot.

"Snowy! All snipers are supposed to report near the town limits! Get the fuck out there!"

Everyone here called me "Snowy." I'm thinking it was because when they found me, I was hanging out in ten feet of snow and I jumped out with a knife, scaring the shit out of the guy in charge. Yeah, I did that sometimes. It was an old trick in my nation's military that was used as an ambush tactic in the case of separation from one's allies. But in that scenario, I was waiting for a different kind of enemy.

We were fighting ponies. They showed up on Earth's doorstep about a decade back, asking for a few volunteers to be turned into ponies and live in their land, Equestria. Being the gullible and stupid race that we are, we accepted their offer and they began setting up ponification bureaus all over the world. People flooded in, pissing their pants in excitement of becoming a pony and living a happy and simple life in Equestria.

Then, I'm guessing Princess Celestia drew another card from the pile of bad choices and it read "exterminate the race that you just fucked up the ass with a giant strap-on." Soon enough, they declared war. They obliterated us. Within a few years, half of us were eating hay and apples for the rest of our lives. We tried to fight back, forming pockets of resistance here and there, but they were rooted out. After ponifying a few more millions, they decided that Equestria was now well populated, so they employed new tactics. They started slaughtering us. They were flat out murdering tons of innocent people. We started calling them out on it, taunting them with graffiti all over walls that read "you're just like us now." Of course, they didn't care. Princess Celestia told them to do it, so they carried on.

Now, all we had was a small army of a couple thousand. The American military started going around the world, picking up any survivors that they came across. This wasn't too bright of an idea, though. The very search parties trying to find more humans to bolster the resistance were each getting ambushed and destroyed on their journeys. I was on one of the ships that had actually made it without being compromised.

My name isn't exactly important, and neither is my nationality. There were no nationalities anymore. No more religion, no more flags to be loyal to. There was human, and there was pony. I just happened to be the last guy from my country. We did have one other guy, but he was pretty sick and didn't last for too long.

These last few soldiers and armed citizens from each nation that survived were now all part of a combined survival effort. We had made it pretty far, too. Since we started, we've been alive for over five years. Occasionally we had to stop and put a bullet in a guy's head because he was hoarding food, but we still got far. The rules were simple. Find some ammo? You better share. Find some supplies? You better share. Find some food? You better fucking share.

We eventually hunkered down in a little abandoned town about fifty miles from Denver, Colorado. It wasn't too bad, either. It was like a good old fashioned backyard barbecue every day, except everybody only got scraps of meat and a spoonful of whatever else was in stock. Usually it was us snipers that would go out every day and shoot a few deer, bring them back, and earn a gold star. We had a reward system in our little group. If you contribute, you get more. If you just sit there and use up valuable supplies instead of helping to get those supplies, you were going to be voted off the island.

I didn't entirely agree with this system, but I figured that I might as well get as much as I could out of it, and goodie goodie, I earned myself an entire can of beans to myself the other day. Lucky me.

Now, we were compromised. The pegasi actually gained a sense of diligence and looked hard enough to see our setup. Now it was only a matter of time before they would be coming at us with the full force of the Equestrian military. I knew it wasn't going to be long before we were found out. Celestia knew there were humans left. Hence the reason she had regular patrols that literally scoured almost every square mile of the planet. Griffons were pretty good hunters.

But we were spotted by pegasi. There was no doubt that Celestia was informed not half an hour after we were seen. Now it was time to fight again.

I set my backpack onto the cot and pulled out a large poncho made out of the same material as a ghillie suit. It might not help all that much, as I was probably going to be side by side with other snipers, but maybe I would be able to find my own little spot to shoot from. Flash hiders are a wonderful blessing. The Equestrians can't kill that which they cannot see.

I threw the poncho on and then my backpack. I double checked my ammunition. Thirty rounds of 7.62x67mm high velocity, anti-personnel ammunition. Each one could leave my barrel at over three thousand feet per second and travel nearly a mile before losing its power. It was always considered a good hunting ammunition, but today I was going to be shooting ponies with it.

"Snowy, you're with us." A guy said as he walked up to me, a Remington M24 rifle in his hands and a green boonie hat on his head.

Maybe they called me Snowy because my skin was really pale?

I followed the guy with the green boonie hat out away from everybody else. About eight other people started heading in the same direction as us. I recognized one of them as the guy that I usually went out to hunt with. I never caught his name, but now we were together again. I'd call him Hunting Bud. A couple of the other snipers were wearing British Marine fatigues along with Union Jack patches on their shoulders.

"Let's go shoot us up some ponies. Dunt thawt feew loike a good oidear, mate?" One of the Americans said, mimicking a British accent.

"Jolly good oidear, chap." Another said.

Those two guys were assholes. I never liked them. They stuck around each other like a moth and a light. They were both racist pricks. In fact, that's what I named them. Racist Prick #1 and Racist prick #2. I was hoping they'd die first. The British guys were Tea and Crumpets. The guy in charge was Sarge.

"Fuck off. Limey over there has a Macmillan Tac 50. That's like a cannon compared to your gay little M14." Another American said, defending the Brits.

He would be Hero.

"Fucking Americans..." Said a Russian guy, toting his Dragunov.

Rusky.

I hated everybody here, except maybe Hero and Hunting Bud. I wanted to be the only one alive after all of this. Maybe it would be okay if all of humanity just got exterminated except for me, so I could just go find a log cabin and live out here in the woods in peace. I'd have a sign in front of my kilometer-long driveway that'd say "all sentient beings past this point will be shot." That sounded like a plan. Maybe I'd just walk off and leave everybody here to die...

"Split up. Find your own spots and don't fire until I say. They'll be coming through the valley." Sarge said.

I walked for about two hundred more meters until I found a nice tree that fit my standards. I could get up easily, and get back down just in case I was spotted. It was a tall spruce that had spaced out branches, half of them dead. I could climb right up the center without any needles being a nuisance and without any branches snagging on my gear. I climbed about half way up the tree, where there was a nice opening in the branches that I could look through and see the whole valley. The other trees would be a slight problem. But I was just fine with letting the others do their thing as I sat there. They were all probably idiots anyway.

I sat on one branch and lay my rifle across another. Now all I had to do was wait. I heard a little sound in my earpiece that almost made me go deaf in my left ear. I yanked it out by the cord and turned the volume on it down a few notches. I put it back in my ear.

"Sorry. Dropped my radio."

'_Fucking idiots_.' I thought.

"Snowy, I like your spot. You'd be awesome at hide and seek." Racist prick #1 said.

"Shut the fuck up and watch the valley." Sarge said.

"Hey Snowy, it's too bad you don't have a drift of snow to hide in." Racist prick #2 said.

"I'm going to shoot all of you if you don't shut up." Hero said.

I turned off my radio. I'd already lost enough brain cells for the day. I'd rather just wait for the Equestrians than listen to those morons. I took this time to adjust the zoom on my scope and observe my environment. There would be no wind to mess up my shot because the trees wouldn't let wind get through. It was a bit cold, which meant thicker air, which meant more drag on the bullet. I would be shooting at too close of a range for that to matter though.

I looked at possible places that the ponies might come through. A road went right up the hill towards the town about two hundred meters to my front. I could just barely see the concrete through an opening of about ten feet between the trees. A fast-moving river was about fifty meters to my left. Unless they had a bridge, that wasn't a good entry point. I considered myself safe from any of them that might come that way.

About five hundred meters off, on the face of one of the mountains, was a cliff that could serve as a good scouting spot. I made sure to take some looks at that every once in a while, but I never noticed any movement. I kept my main focus on the road and all of the area in between. The town was about a thousand meters up that road, where the rest of the people were waiting.

Pretty soon, pegasi started flying overhead. If they were still above me as I started shooting, I might get found. I started hearing distant gunshots and explosions coming from the town's direction. It had begun. The ground forces wouldn't be too far behind. The pegasi slowed to a trickle. I heard a very faint shout that I thought said "March!"

I was right. I started seeing ponies marching along the road up towards the town. I turned my radio back on and put it in my ear.

"-have eyes on? Snowy? Do you see 'em?" Sarge asked.

Before I could answer, Racist prick #1 chimed in.

"Oh, shit. They're real close to us. Maybe fifty feet."

"Hold your fire. Don't get spotted. Try to move positions quietly." Sarge said.

"I have visual. Approximately one hundred meters to my front. Dey are coming up de road." Rusky reported.

"I can't see 'em. Someone tell me where the fuck they are!" Hero whisper-shouted.

"I see them. They're in range. Pick your targets and stay calm." Sarge said.

"I've got them in my sights now." Hunting Bud said.

"Open fire."

Pretty soon, distinct bangs and thuds echoed throughout the valley, much more prominent than the automatic fire coming from the town. I set my crosshairs into the column of infantry, waiting for a pony to walk into them. I saw one pony wearing a suit of dark grey armor and waited until he was a about half a foot from my crosshairs. When he was on the correct mil-dot, I pulled the trigger, my rifle's percussion wave moving apart the branches around the muzzle. His head jerked to the side as the bullet hit right under his ear. Another pony fell over next to him, making me believe that the bullet had gone through the first pony's skull and hit him. The spray of blood covered the ponies next to the victims, making them look over in confusion.

I cycled the bolt and felled another soldier. They were just walking right into my bullets. Some of them stopped to push aside the bodies of the fallen, but our shots made them scatter after not too long. I saw one pony's entire leg get blown off, probably from Crumpets' MacMillan. Bodies littered the ground as the rest of the soldiers fell back. They had no idea who was massacring their allies. Another wave followed close behind. I pulled the bolt up and backwards, the shell falling down to the ground, hitting a few branches and making light _ding _sounds. I pushed it back into place, each clicking noise made by the bolt making the back of my neck tickle and providing me with a slight bit of comfort in this shit-hit-the-fan situation.

I saw the commander in front of the next regiment, so I picked him out. I put my crosshairs slightly forward of him and fired. The round went through the head of the pony next to him and tumbled downwards out of the exit wound. It tumbled down and tore through the throat of the commander, making him fall over and bleed out quickly. More rounds ripped into the ponies, sent lovingly from my comrades.

I pulled the magazine from the bottom of my rifle after the last casing landed on the ground below. I stuffed the ten shot magazine into the dump pouch around my waist and pulled out a fresh one from my vest. It clicked in and I punched the bolt forward again, locking a round into the chamber. It had become a cycle now. I would fire, cycle a round, then fire again. It was almost an involuntary thing. I didn't think about doing it, I just did it. I had been doing it for years, so my body just automatically knew what to do.

"Ah, shit! They see us! Fuck!" Racist prick #2 panicked.

"Fall back! Get to the town! Everyone else, stay put!" Sarge commanded.

A loud scream came from Racist prick #1's radio, then it cut out completely.

"Are you there? Soldier, respond immediately!"

No response came. I continued firing. Listening to the radio wasn't my main objective. I was using up my ammo before I could stop myself. Something in my mind just told me to keep firing.

"They've broken through! Everybody get back to the town!" Sarge yelled in the radio louder than was necessary.

"Chyort. Dey have seen me. I am making run for it! Someone cover me!" Rusky called.

I couldn't help him. I had no idea where he had gone. I kept firing down upon whatever ponies were still by the road. I had to stop myself and wonder why they had suddenly become so thin. My question was answered when I heard leaves rustling close to me. I looked around, freezing in my position.

"Help me, comrades!" I heard in my radio.

Although, it wasn't just in my radio. I heard it in person through my right ear. I looked over to my left near the river and sure enough saw Rusky running like a madman through the branches. He made a long jump and made it almost to the edge of the riverbank. He pulled himself out of the mud and kept running. I jumped down at least ten feet to the ground. I came from the tree right in front of Rusky. He screamed and put his gun up, but calmed down once he saw that it was me.

"Dey are coming! Ve need to get back to the town!" He yelled in a craze.

I looked over towards the river and saw at least forty ponies all running at us. I lifted my rifle and fired a single round, striking one of the ponies in the chest as he ran. He fell over and tumbled about ten more feet on the ground, kicking up leaves and dirt into the air. I ejected that casing and pulled the trigger. _Click_.

'_What? Click?_'

I pulled the bolt back and looked in the receiver to see the top of the magazine. Empty. I felt around on my vest for a full clip. Nope. All of my empty magazines were in the pouch around my waist. By now, Rusky had stopped and was shooting at the ponies across the river. It wasn't long before they would find a way across.

I slung my rifle around my back, as it was now useless to me. I felt around my vest again to make sure that I was out. My fingers glazed across a solid, rounded pouch. I had forgotten about my grenade. I quickly lifted the flap and pulled out the grenade. I slapped Rusky's back and he turned around. I motioned for him to follow and he did. We ran like hell up towards the town, and soon heard solid thudding noises behind us, going in small bursts of four.

I turned my head and saw a dozen or so ponies chasing us. In my spur-of-the-moment thinking, I pulled the pin of my grenade and let the safety lever fly. I waited a couple of seconds and dropped it at my feet. I then ran faster than I ever had. Rusky made sure to keep up. After a few more seconds I heard a satisfying, but extremely loud explosion. It made my ears ring for a second, but the screams of wounded ponies made me smile. I turned my head to see almost all of them laying on the ground back where I had dropped the miniature weapon of mass destruction.

A couple more were still in pursuit. I pulled out my .40 caliber pistol and turned to fire at the oncoming equines. I put two rounds in the first one before he could get close enough to touch me. I fired once to get the attention of the other two, who had been chasing Rusky. One of them broke off from that chase and came after me. I put him down with a single shot to the head. I then ran after the other one. The town was now in view. A few buildings stood a bit farther up the hill.

I heard Rusky scream in terror. I ran towards the yelling, but this was a dense forest. I stopped and looked around for where it was coming from. Man, they had gotten far in those few seconds. I saw leaves rustling by a thick tree trunk and ran over. The sounds of a struggle hit my ears.

"Just let it go, human..." A pony said, grunting in effort.

I holstered my pistol and unsheathed my knife. I got around the tree and saw the pony pinning down Rusky. I charged without thinking. The pony turned as I let out a Viking war cry. The surprise in his eyes would have made me laugh if the circumstances were any different. I tackled him hard to the ground, sinking my blade between his ribs as I collided with him. He let out a yelp of pain as we hit the ground. I pulled my knife from his side and stabbed him in the side of the neck. I pulled the knife towards my chest, effectively tearing the pony's throat apart as my knife sliced through the front of his neck. Warm blood spattered over my face and I stabbed him in the heart.

Rusky got up and looked at me with a wide-eyed look. I wiped the blood off of my knife onto my sleeve and sheathed it. I pointed up to the town and we ran up together. As we ran, I slowed a bit and took a look behind us. There were plenty more coming. I could just barely see them through the trees, accompanied by hoofsteps on the dirt and leaves. I sped up a bit. The sound of gunfire and screams was now drowning out my frantic footsteps. The backs of buildings and a fence came into view. Rusky and I got to the gate and pulled it open with some trouble in our hurry. After finally managing to lift the hook, we dashed in and Rusky closed it behind us.

There were now more screams than gunfire. Not good. We carefully walked down the alley, hearing the sounds draw nearer. We saw a few people running wildly down the street in the opposite direction from the fight, but that was to be expected, at least by me. They fired blindly behind them, their bullets shooting harmlessly into the sky. Rusky stopped and hid behind a small mound of gravel next to the wall, and I simply crouched between a pile of unused cinder blocks and a dumpster. After a few seconds, the few people passing by every second turned into at least a dozen. I had a bad feeling.

"Sheit." Rusky whispered to himself.

I looked at him with a nervous glare as sweat poured down my forehead. I looked back towards the fence behind the store, and luckily the Equestrians hadn't decided to follow us. Either that, or they were trying to cut off the fleeing humans farther up the lonely downtown road. Out of the corner of my eye, a few things zoomed across the sky. I looked over quickly to see no more humans running through. I did, however, see pegasi charging ahead, a few with grenades hanging on their sides. They had developed a strategy of having multiple captured human grenades strapped to their sides and having each pin connected to a single string. They would pull on that string and unhook the sash of grenades and it would drop down towards any humans below. It wasn't a very popular tactic amongst them, but a few would occasionally be seen with several different shaped grenades lining their sides.

I pressed as close to the wall as possible, making sure they had no angle on me. Ruske went prone and I saw him with his hands together, praying with his rifle in his inner elbows. While we prayed to our separate deities, something fast and noisy roared up from behind, scaring the hell out of us. We turned and pointed our weapons towards it, but it was just another human, seeking cover. I noticed the tattered wooden body of the rifle and then looked up to see the face of Hunting Bud. Someone else arrived more quietly behind him. It was Tea, with his bulky L96.

I motioned for them to get down, but they were already on it. Tea hurried next to me and Hunting Bud went behind the cinder blocks. We sat there in deadly silence for at least three minutes, fearing that hooves would be all over us in a split second. Luckily, even though we all wore different patterns, we were fairly well camouflaged. Even though my woodland pattern wasn't anywhere near the same color as the gravel, it was better than wearing bright blue jeans and a red sweatshirt. You would be lucky to find military fatigues. Most people just had on civilians clothes that blended in worse than a black guy at a Mormon church.

I made sure my rifle was secure on my back, and that I had plenty of pistol ammunition. Three full clips, plus the ten rounds that were still in the one I had loaded in the gun. I decided that it would be best to move before the larger units came in, so I pat Tea on the back and waved to Hunting Bud and Rusky. I pointed behind the building next to us, away from the advancing army. Hunting Bud peeked around he corner and nodded in confirmation that it was clear. He and Rusky carefully rounded that corner and Hunting Bud pointed his rifle up at the sky. He beckoned us to move, so I pat Tea's shoulder and pointed to Hunting Bud. Tea slowly got up, keeping his rifle pointed upwards, and tip-toed over to the corner. I did the same.

Once we all got around, we quietly walked along the back walls of stores, keeping a watchful eye on our surroundings. The cold wind bit at our lips and ears. I was used to it, as I had grown up in frigid weather and was only exposed to snow and ice up until I was taken to America. Maybe that's why everyone called me Snowy. Bringing us back to reality, I looked all around in the sky and listened as pegasi swooshed by. Some gunshots were heard in the distance, far off from where we were. I actually think we were safer as we were rather than being where the slaughter was going down. We moved in a leapfrog motion, having two go past as the other two covered, and then the two that just went would cover the other guys, and the cycle repeats.

We made sure as not to make a single sound. The only thing that was audible was our clothes swishing occasionally. I kept my pistol ready, with my finger above the trigger. I could have looked up and popped rounds off at a pegasus before they even saw me. It wasn't long before we heard quick hoofsteps on the concrete right over the buildings. We stopped and Tea looked out into the street. It was far too crowded. We couldn't possibly move across an alley without being spotted. We went down the incline in the hill that the buildings sat atop of. We couldn't get I to the woods on account of the long fence running parallel to the buildings, and climbing it would made too much noise. We opted to keep low along the fence until we found an opening or something.

As we went down the hill, Rusky tripped over a root and fell, making a loud thud, but he didn't dare utter any sound. We all froze. As Rusky got up, we swept the hilltop and made sure no soldiers heard. When no equine heads appeared, we continued along the fence. It seemed like an eternity that we crouch-ran along the chain link barrier, and the sounds of gunshots got closer every second. We even got so close as to hear a voice distinctly yell:

"Fuck! I need another magazine!"

After defying the screams for help and shouts of anguish, we finally found a part of the fence that was bent upwards at the bottom. I pointed to it and sped up, eager to get out of the town. I lifted the flap of bent, tied metal and let Rusky crawl under. Tea and Hunting Bud were right behind. Hunting Bud crouched and held the hole open until I rolled through. We then went as fast as we could down the hill while also trying to keep quiet. A lone gas station sat at the bottom of the hill in a clearing. We became confident that any sounds we made wouldn't be heard from the town, so we ran faster down towards the flat ground.

Once we erupted out of the woods, I needed to slow myself down from building up so much momentum going down. We looked around to make sure it was clear, then headed straight for the gas station. Tea hopped into the smashed window, followed by myself, then Hunting Bud and Rusky. As Hunting Bud watched the window, we all took a second to breathe.

"Bloody hell. That hold out did absolutely bugger all." Tea said, gasping for air.

"Anyone see anyone else on the way before we met up?" Hunting Bud asked.

"Niet. It vas just me and Snowy." Ruske said.

"The guy with the M14 was dead when I found him. I haven't seen any others." Tea informed.

"Well, fuck. I guess we're on our own." Hunting Bud said.

"Not quite." Tea said, looking out the window.

We we all turned our attention to the road leading up to the gas station. As Tea had pointed out, someone was running down the road, and he brought company. I recognized the black baseball cap and brown pants. It was Hero. He was running faster than anything any of us had ever seen. His hat flew off as he ran towards us. He must have seen us, because he changed his trajectory when he got within about a hundred meters of us. At least thirty or so ponies were chasing after him. We knew we had made a mistake by letting him know we were here. By now, the ponies had also seen us. They knew we were trapped. We couldn't outrun a force that big.

Before I knew it, everyone had propped up their rifles on racks, shelves, and windowsills and began firing. A few ponies fell after the first volley, but they were sidestepped and left on the road. The others kept shooting, only stopping to let Hero jump through the broken window. The ponies halted and ran off as the accurate shots of Hunting Bud, Rusky, and Tea struck pony after pony, cutting the force down to about half of what it was.

We had to move before they came back with help.

Hero didn't even have time to catch his breath. He was picked up and dragged out the back door. I covered our backs, being the only one without a long-ranged weapon to use. We ran towards the trees on the other side of the clearing, away from the town. Very faint bangs and cracks let us know that some people were still alive in the town, but not for long. Before we could even get halfway across the field behind the gas station, pegasi were overhead. I fired a couple rounds to try and scare them off, but there was no way that one guy with a pistol was going to fend off two dozen winged tanks.

I turned and ran as the pegasi got closer. I heard a swoop as one dove down right towards us. Hero was out of energy. He was reduced to a jog. The pegasus slammed right into Hero's back. I fired my pistol in that direction, clipping the pegasus in the back leg. He was unfazed and slammed both of his front hooves down onto Hero. A sickening crunch let me know what happened as I turned to run. I was far behind the others. In this situation, we were the gazelle and the pegasi were cheetahs. They just needed one of us to split apart from the group, which I did. I was the stupid guy that decided to slow down and shoot at the attackers.

A few pegasi broke off from the group and pursued me. I knew I was fucked. I changed my direction and ran towards another grove of trees. I figured that I might as well try and get the other pegasi off of Tea, Rusky, and Hunting Bud's tail. As I ran, I would fire a couple shots up at the hunters, but each bullet cracked past them. By then, I was preparing for death. The pegasi were closing the distance between us, but I found comfort in the fact that I had gotten the attention of most of the other pegasi. Only a few were giving chase to my comrades. I knew they would be able to kill the equine bastards.

If I was going to die, I was going to take as many of them with me as I could.

I reloaded my pistol as I ran and then stopped dead in my tracks. I turned and everything went in slow motion. I raised my gun and fired two shots at the closest pegasus. The first round hit his wing and made him crash hard. The second shot missed completely. I acquired a new target, a pegasus that was wheeling up and ready to charge. I fired a single shot up at him. He curled up as the .40 caliber bullet entered his stomach. He fell down to the ground quickly. I wheeled around and fired another round that blew out the throat of one pegasus. The remaining few flew off, most likely scared at the sharpshooting skills that I didn't even know I had.

Without a second thought, I ran towards the forest. I disappeared in the trees and didn't look back.

So, now here I am. A month later. Out of food. Out of ammo. Out of hope.

This is my last stop. I'm going to go towards a camp that I saw earlier. It is definitely Equestrian, but I'm going to die soon anyways. To the ponies of the camp, hello. Thank you for allowing your camp to serve as my death spot.

Whoever reads this, please, don't throw this away. I don't care what you do, just don't let my story go unheard. Sorry for the bad handwriting... And the blood on the paper...

If at all possible, give me a proper burial in my home country. You'll find the address of the cemetery in my backpack. I don't really want to rot in foreign soil.

Thank you.

ooooooooo

_Wow, that sucked. Now I know why one-shots aren't my thing. Oh well. I just needed to publish this so I could finally make it stop taunting me from my doc manager list. _


End file.
